many things are different

after periods of elation, of worry, of amazement, of disbelief, of hunger, of exhaustion, of distraction, of wonder, of more emotions than i can list, i'm experiencing stasis, balance.

i did, however, lose my balance momentarily--another sort of balance--just yesterday while standing still and moving my foot ever so slightly. turns out this is a normal response to a shifted center of gravity. but mentally, i'm feeling a bit more in control, which is nice. these days i think of new dwellings, of names, of love, of change, of growth, of history, of the marvel of life.

mentioning memories

over a fancy late lunch at a stylish cafe in the city, i asked my parents, "what is your fondest memory of childhood?" my father thought a moment, and then shared that his best memories were of fashioning games to play by himself. he was the youngest of two, his older sister 6 years his senior, and likely none too interested in the comings and goings of her kid brother.

the question sparked memories of my own: giggling hysterically with my sister, weaving ridiculous stories, making up games, and repeating silly quotes that we exchange to this day. the moments i remember most clearly were daring my sister to do things that we both knew were trouble-inducing, like a pudding facial at the dinner table or pasting Teen Beat posters to our bedroom wall with chunky peanut butter. she'd accept my outlandish challenges partly out of a quest for fun and partly out of trust. our giggles would continue even as the approaching heavy steps signaled impending punishment.

i wonder which moments my sister recalls, and of those, which memories match mine. ahhh, the mind plays tricks.

it does not follow

i pretty much need to get to the bottom of things.

i'm exacting. i'm precise. i ask questions.

i'm also scattered.

these two characteristics have been on my mind recently, but not at the same time. not until i started writing this post--right now--did i remember a personality test my colleagues and i took at the gates foundation. it was quite informal; we lollygagged on islands of blankets strewn lazily on a grassy lawn, ticking off answers to questions, and then waited impatiently to divulge the impending scarlet letter we all would have to bear.

my label? i'm concrete random. how's that for a dichotomy?

indeed. a precise scatterer.

[and now i shall make an example of myself. i digress. my original topic of this post had nothing to do with the scattered side of me, but i will now showcase that characteristic by changing the subject. dramatically.]

my sister and i were talking about products--moisturizers, in particular. i rallied for SPF worn daily in my best i'm-older-and-wiser tact. it went without saying that i wasn't talking about just any SPF, but an organic one that doesn't have all the trappings of a powerplant (an aside: david and i use different sunscreens). and then, when chatting with a friend yesterday, she posited that the chemicals found in SPF products--even the organic ones--may be more unhealthy than time spent in the sun.

so i researched. and when reading the paper today, i learned that the chemicals are indeed bad for someone--marine life. after reading the comments to the piece, i followed a link to SkinDeep, a site i have visited in the past, but not to rank my sunscreen choice. the fine folks at SD showed me the best and worst sunscreens, and although my current screen isn't a complete dud, it didn't make an appearance in the top 150! i also learned that even the top sunscreen may be linked to cancer. while i'm not ready to quit the SPF-a-day kick, i could certainly do better, and i will.

x-mas eve, lil' sister style

this is our first christmas together, and our first chance at crafting traditions to last a lifetime. about one minute and 32 seconds ago, i think we cemented our fate: duran duran.

yes.
remember how addicted to last fm i am? i decided to listen to tunes like tears for fears, and this is the 4th song spun: save a prayer.

i'm all teary now :)
and my sister is the only one who understands.

dog love

my sister is pretty incredible.

she's also hilarious.

and a genius at orchestrating situations for the greater good.

she has five roommates: ruby gup, lil' gum, akai, durka durka, and bobo, all dogs, all special in their own way. i cannot stress the special part enough. my sister rescues and adopts dogs in pretty bad shape, often elderly, infirm, and unloved.

unloved until she welcomes them into her home.

as i mentioned, she's pretty hilarious, which is useful when you have a motley crue of dogs cycling through your apartment. she recently lost one of her animals, and expects another to soon follow. when she shared this with me, she mused that she had her eye on a hard luck dog on the east coast. she said, "i have two spots on the B Team to fill." i asked her to repeat what she had said, and she explained that the A Team are the two dogs who are healthy and keep the crew spunky and lively. The B Team are dogs like BoBo, a teenaged poodle who suffers from cataracts and is completely blind, or Lil' Gum who snaps and growls, baring her two teeth, and who recently lost movement in her back legs.

and then the genius part: when she owned a natural food store, she orchestrated a deal with an organic pet food dealer to provide wholesale dog food in exchange for a a generous amount of business. this food now feeds her dogs. the local vet pays for all shots and procedures, and others supplement costs when she travels to rescue a dog.




this is a labor of love. she doesn't get paid, and yet she's rich with resources and support. i admire her quite a bit.

pride

my sister rocks. i've always known it, but now she knows it, too. as proof, she sent me this:


she thought she wouldn't excel in school. she knew she couldn't pass math. she maybe even thought she wasn't creative, but sending this picture to me on my cell phone with zero words attached to it is proof that she's smart, creative, and the coolest A student ever.

rock on, doo!